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23 December 2017

Powerbuilding #3- Little Big Men Who Make You Look Like A Bitch

Believe it or not, there used to be at least a half dozen dudes in World Gym Tucson just in the evening crew who could Behind The Neck Press 315lbs.  

Walking into a gym used to be a humbling experience.  Benny Podda-esque shit was commonplace- you might not see a half naked wild man covered in blood rip a water fountain out of the wall and toss it across the room, but there was enough wild-eyed screaming and ECA-fueled rampages throughout the gym that as a newcomer, you trod lightly.  But as you became inculcated in that community, you became more savage, more feral, more muscular, and far stronger.  There was no other option- kill or be kill, eat or be eaten.  If you were a tourist, you were treated as such, shunned and reviled by the locals as beneath contempt. 


I shit you not- I googled Barbarian Brothers and this came up.  This is the modern Fitspo era.  Fuck me running. 

Those times are long past.  In the PC, pink bitch, pussified modern era of lifting, everything is antiseptic, everyone's wearing "outfits," and people are too busy muttering ridiculous horseshit like "cucklord" and taking selfies while feigning injuries to justify their shit dog lifts to actually lift something heavy.  And if they actually do manage to lift some paltry weights, they're following some $100 cookie-cutter program designed for the lowest common denominator human, stressing deloads and rates of perceived exertion and a bunch of other jargon that serves as nothing but a screen for lazily slumping your way through workout after workout... but they certainly won't shy from posting videos of their ministrations on the internet in hopes of some half-hearted encouragement and pity from faceless strangers.


This is what everyone one of those no-fap, no porn pussies looks like to me.  And if you're in that shit, you're welcome- I put you back at Day 0.

Newsflash: if my Facebook and Instagram feeds are any indication, that shit does not work.  What does work is breaking your fucking ass inside out every day, with the goal of getting bigger and stronger, followed by massive meals and tons of protein.  Fuck choosing a specific diet, fuck choosing a specific program, fuck all of this new jack shit- you don't need that kind of "help."  What you need is to follow in the footsteps of giants so you can trace their path to brutality.  Along the way, you'll adopt the old school mindset, and all of this nicey-nice, happy-go-lucky, no fap, no honor, no integrity, no balls, pussy shit can get tossed in the dustbin of history along with every other horrible fad that has befallen the human race and retarded the evolution of humanity into true godhood.



Can you tell which one is on gear?  I sure as shit can't.  Now shut the fuck up and lift.

And before any scrawny, Smiegel-looking, basement-dwelling pussies come swooping out of the rafters screeching about PEDS, bear in mind the Barbarian Brothers trained together doing the same fucking program day in and day out, and only one of them was gassed up.  Stop making fucking excuses.  Don't be a fucking pussy.  It's time to start chokeslamming these excuse-making fucktards in the parking lot outside the gym for even mentioning gear- if you use it, fine, if you don't, fine.  Either way, KEEP YOUR FUCKING MOUTH SHUT ABOUT IT.

Now, onto more programs that have made people brutally strong and jacked.



Danny "The Giant Killer" Padilla
At his heaviest, the 5'2" Giant Killer was 190lbs.  Although I realize a shredded 190 lb near-midget will still bring about screams of "Manlet" from Cheetos-dust-filled basements around the country, Padilla outlifted just about everyone you know.  He trained six days a week with massive volume and extremely short rests and has been caught on video squatting 405 for sets of twelve weighing under 190, and benched 450 when he was closer to 180 lbs. 


"I've got your manlet right here, bitch." - Danny Padilla

Padilla gave no fucks about programming or overtraining- he just bombed into the gym like a miniature Godzilla and wrecked shit.  Most of the year, Padilla would train 4 to 6 days a week, but he didn't get too panicky about missing training days.  If he missed one, he'd just pick up where he left off and continue forward like Marshawn Lynch on the goal line.  His split really never changed- he'd train chest and back on day one, shoulders and arms on day two, and legs on day three, then repeat.  He didn't wave load, use periodization, check the position of the stars, phone a friend, ask Facebook, or do any other stupid shit to tell him when to add weight to the bar, either.  Knowing that such things are more fucking retarded than the guy with the giant dent in his head that stocks the soup at the local supermarket, Padilla would just add ten pounds to the bar whenever his five sets of twelve got too easy, and then would use that weight as his working weight for successive workouts,  Keeping his rest periods to 60 seconds or less, Padilla was a fucking Tazmanian Devil in the gym, finishing a workout of two to three exercises with five sets of twelve in just over an hour (in the spirit of other training luminaries like Vince Gironda).  His offseason program looked thusly:



Chest and Back
Bench Press- 5x12 (with 2-3 warmup sets, rather than the umpteen warmup sets currently in vogue these days)
Incline Bench- 5x12
Flys- 5x12
Dumbell Pullovers- 5x12
Chins- 5x12
Bent Barbell Rows- 5x12
Cable Pulldowns- 5x12
(once a week) Deadlifts- 5x12

Shoulders and Arms
Seated Military Press-5x12 (supersetted with cable laterals)
Cable Laterals- 5x12

Rear Laterals; 5x12
Front Raises or Upright Rows- 5x12
Dumbbell Curls- 5x12
Barbell Curls- 5x12
Concentration Curls or Preacher Curls- 5x8
Lying Triceps Extensions- 5x12
Seated Overhead EZ Bar Extensions- 5x12
Pushdowns / One Arm Dumbbell Overhead Extensions- 5x12

Legs and Abs
Leg Extensions- 5x12
Squats- 5x12
Leg Presses- 5x12
Lying Leg Curls- 5x12
Standing Leg Curls- 5x12
Standing Calf Raises- 5x12
Donkey Calf Raises- 5x15
Seated Calf Raises- 5x15

Crunches or Leg Raises- 5x20

No calculations, no spreadsheets, no fucking coach, and no bullshit.  Using nothing more than a simple exercise, set and rep scheme, Padilla was able get strong enough to make just about anybody look like a punk bitch lifting next to him, with a physique that probably got him more pussy than Wilt Chamberlain.  Food for thought.


I will mentally facefuck your preconceived notions about the utility of bodybuilding out of you.



Rich Gaspari
Few bodybuilders seem to arouse the weird, impotent enmity of messageboard warriors like Rich Gaspari, the Dragon Slayer.  At the age of 50, Gaspari could bench 225 for 25 reps and could rock front raises with the 100s (much to the bizarre chagrin of the weaksauce and bitch-made messageboard warriors who profess to train), but in his prime Gaspari was squatting just under 700 lbs and deadlifting 495 for 12 at a bodyweight of around 215lbs.   Not too shabby for a guy who was known for being ultra-shredded rather than a monster in the weight room... though he'd trash just about anybody you could put him up against at his bodyweight in the gym today.



Not a fan of the ultra-high rep shit that was in vogue when Gaspari competed, he preferred to train like a goddamned maniac with ultra heavy weights, low reps (even precontest), twice a day, 6 days a week.  His approach was simple- lift weights until his fucking eyes bled with less fucks given than John Wayne Gacy at a children's birthday party, low calorie diet and everyone else be damned.  The man tore through weights like a cruel condom through a gay man's sphincter, and his physique reflected that.  Grainier than a block of granite and harder than a diamond in an ice storm, Gaspari was a fucking beast.  Here's how he did it.  [SPOILER ALERT: He didn't have a coach, a team, a program, conjugate periodization, prehab, Rumble Rollers, or any of the other unnecessary bullshit everyone seems to think is indispensable these days, because all of that shit is extraneous nonsense that only slack-jawed pussies need, and their reliance on such things is a virtual guarantee they will never achieve greatness.]



Day One
AM Workout
Calves
Donkey Calf Raises- 5x15 (with two people on his back and a dip belt.  He'd do a drop set where he'd have one guy jump off, then the second, then drop the dip belt)
Seated Calf Raise- 5x15 (last set was a triple drop set)

Chest (last sets all done to failure)
Incline Dumbbell Press- 5x8-12
Incline Flyes- 4x8-12
Barbell Bench Press- 4x6-10 (drop set on the last set)
Dumbbell Flyes / Pec Deck- 4x10-12
Weighted Dips- 3x10
Cable Crossovers — 3 10-12

Abdominals
Lying Crunches- 4x50
Hanging Leg Raises- 4x50
Twisting Cable Crunches 3x50

Cardio (followed by posing practice)

Day One
PM Workout
Arms (Superset Triceps and Biceps)
Pushdowns supersetted with Incline Dumbbell Curls- 4x10-12
Skullcrushers supersetted with Seated EZ Preacher Curls- 4x10-12
Seated French Curls supersetted with Rope Pushdowns- 4x10-12
Kickbacks supersetted with Dumbbell Concentration Curls- 3x10-12

One hour of posing

Day Two
AM Workout
Back (from his '88 season, with his training weights)
Front Pulldowns- 3x10-12 reps, 250 lbs max weight
Reverse-Grip Pulldowns- 3x10-12 reps, 220 lbs max weight
Seated Cable Rows- 3x10-12 reps, 300 lbs max weight
One-Arm Dumbbell Rows- 3x10-12 reps, 200 lbs max weight
Barbell Rows- 4x10-12 reps, 365 lbs max weight
Deadlifts- 3x10-12 reps, 495 lbs max weight
Back Extensions- 3x12-15 reps, 45 lbs max weight

Abdominals- Same as day one
 
Cardio


 
Note the utter lack of training journals, percentage tables, or other useless accoutrements of the modern trainee.

Day Two
PM Workout

Shoulders
Arnold Presses- 5x6-10 (drop set on last set)
Seated or Standing Side Laterals- 5x10-12 (drop set on last set)
Standing Upright Rows supersetted with Two-Arm Cable Side Laterals- 3x12
Standing Front Dumbbell Laterals- 3x10
Bent Over Dumbbell Laterals- 4x10-12
Behind the Neck Shrugs- 5x10-12

One hour of posing

Day 3
AM Workout
Legs
Leg Extensions- 5x12-15 (have partner push down to make the negative phase more difficult)
45-Degree Leg Press- 5x15
Hack Squats supersetted with Sissy Squats- 5x15
Walking Lunges / Reverse Lunges on a Smith Machine- 5x15
Lying Leg Curls — 5x12-15
Stiff-Legged Deadlifts — 4-5x15

No cardio or posing after leg training

Day 3
PM Workout
Calf Training same as Day One

Abdominal Training same as Day One





So there you have it- a veritable roadmap for getting strong and, and it likely in no way resembles the techniques of the modern trainee.  As I know that there is an oncoming rush of whining out Redditors about gatekeeping, cuckolds, betas, and whatever the fuck other nonsensical and bizarrely misunderstood terms are in vogue to spew online these days, consider the following from an interview with the incredibly, strong, jacked, and mentally unstable 1980s bodybuilder Mike Quinn:

"To sum it up, bodybuilding in the eighties was awesome and the [modern era was] a huge disappointment. In the eighties, your training was the most important thing, then came diet, and the drugs were a distant third. That hierarchy seems to have reversed itself since then. Now kids will come up to me and their first question is usually how much I bench. Right after that they want to know what steroids I use. It's so pathetic."
Clearly, it's not just me who thinks that the modern trainee is bitch-made.  Ditch your program.  Dump your coach.  Forget about whatever the fuck Pubmed bullshit is in vogue these days.  If you want to know what works, you simply have to look at the pre-internet era, when people relied on their balls and their brains to get jacked as fuck, rather than nameless online dickheads with less knowledge about training than your average housewife, but a fuckload of opinions about it.  What matters is your mentality- the execution will follow.  

Just get out there and make it fucking happen.

Sources:
Danny Padilla Workout.  Musclenet.  Web.  23 Dec 2017.  http://www.musclenet.com/danny-padilla-workout.html


Mielke, Myron.  Rich Gaspari The Dragon Slayer.  I'm A Bodybuilder.  Web.  22 Feb 2015.  http://www.imabodybuilder.com/gaspari.html

Merritt, Gerg.  Hardcore Contender - Rich Gaspari.  Flex Online.  Web.  22 Feb 2015.  http://www.flexonline.com/training/hardcore-contender-rich-gaspari#sthash.2hgmkyR9.dpuf

Merritt, Greg.  Rated hardcore.  Flex Online.  Web.  22 Feb 2015.  http://www.flexonline.com/training/rated-hardcore

T Nation.  The black sheep of bodybuilding: an interview with Mike Quinn.  T Nation.  26 Mar 2004.  Web.  23 Dec 2017.  https://www.t-nation.com/pharma/black-sheep-of-bodybuilding

19 comments:

  1. I’m proud to say I watched the entire gay porn video you linked to in this article.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Proud of you. That cruel condom could have interesting applications for people of any sexual persuasion.

      Delete
  2. "pre-internet era, when people relied on their balls"

    None of the people mentioned above relied on their balls. You won't get much help out of shrivelled up raisins.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jamie, What do you think of Vitex Agnus-Castus? It's also called chaste tree or chaste berry because some monks used it in the past to lower libido.

    In low dose it supposedly lowers libido by increasing prolactin but in high dose acts the opposite way, increasing LH but also dopamine by lowering prolactin. Like some sort of a herbal clomid.

    I've been using 1200-1600 mg of the fruits of Vitex daily and it seems to me that it might work. I get annoyed by more little things and some other things I could tolerate before now piss me off a lot. Laser sharp focus, almost excessive. I also can bust more nuts without feeling more satisfied, I just feel a boost of energy and feel refreshed after.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Getting pissed off more easily? Sounds like you've managed to get your estrogen levels too high, and probably lowered your testosterone. Nice job eunuch, enjoy your new tits.

      Delete
    2. Vitex is an herb used by females to regulate their estrogen levels. I've never considered using it, nor would I, really. I've recommended it to chicks who have bad PMS in the past, but I can't think of a reason why a man would want to increase his progesterone levels. Well, unless he was transitioning to a woman.

      Delete
  4. It is marketed for women, but I don't see why men shouldn't use it, just like clomid was made for women but some juicers use it post cycle.

    It would not have the same effect for men as we are made different and we don't have ovaries. From what I read on the subject it would act like a gonadotropic secretagogue, making a man more of a man, and a woman more of a woman.

    If you are interested you can read the last post at the end of the page in the following link where a guy explain how vitex would work for men.

    https://forums.t-nation.com/t/vitex/7846

    and no I didn't grow tits.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I vaguely recall Vitex being used by gues to counteract the estrogenic sides of Methyl Mass back in the day, but that's about it. I'm not too keen on the adaptogenic herbs. In re blowing big loads, I find megadosing Tribulus and Longjax toether works like a charm.

      Delete
    2. Clomid, 12.5mg mon, wed, fri can easily double (minimum) your test levels if low. Big loads, i can't help you with. Don't waste your money on otc test boosters, they don't work.

      Delete
    3. speaking of methyl, are there any worthwhile supplements or drugs for mass and strength that won't shut down natural test production?

      Delete
    4. What Sally said- even the new wave of DHEA products will lower your natural test production. Anytime you raise your test levels to supra-physiological levels, your body will of course down-regulate to compensate. That's what it's supposed to do.

      Delete
  5. Great article but wtf was that homo vid?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Just a hilarious way to troll you guys, haha. Plus, without the link you would have no idea what my metaphor meant.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Okay Jamie, this is gonna sound fucking stupid considering your general training philosophy of going hard, heavy and often, but: How would you make the most out of only 2-3 gym sessions a week? Addin a fuckton of bodyweight work at home? 8 hours arm workout?
    Love your philosophy so I'd be glad to know how you'd go about it

    ReplyDelete